My Gracie Mae

2/4/11

my dear, sweet gracie mae,

do you remember the day we found each other? i turned the corner, and there you were in all your glory:) our eyes met, and it was instantly magical!

"i want to see that one. can we take that one out? i want to see her and sit with her. i need to sit there and feel what she's like to be near."

we walked outside together. you had red marks on your white fur from your temporary collar. i sat down on a tree stump and you stood next to me. i was petting you, with the most odd sense of intention. i wanted to comfort you, and i wanted to feel your soft fur.

what i felt was your heart. i held your face in my hands with an absence of fear that i had never known with a dog before. i could feel your heart with mine. i could feel the depth of your very soul. i could feel your warm, caring spirit, and it made me free again, gracie. you set me free for the first time in years.

i knew we belonged together, and i knew it with all my heart.

do you remember when we walked back inside together? do you remember the nice man who took you back to your small cell? do you remember me getting down on the floor with you and telling you i had to go fill out paperwork, and that they wouldn't let me take you with me? do you remember me telling you that i wouldn't leave you behind? that i was only going to another room? that i would come back for you? that i would never leave you again? do you remember?

the papers said your name was "princess". when we got in the car together, i promised you i would give you a proper name that was full of intention and love, just like you were. i told you i was going to call you "grace", after your granny. "gracie", i said.

i wonder if you remember your first night at home with me? you didn't want to come indoors with me. you hesitated. i got you a dog bed, and put it near the fireplace. i had to plop you in it because you wouldn't go to it. when i went to bed, i kept getting up to make sure you were still breathing, finally, i picked you up and brought you into bed with me.

you slept next to me all night. i felt you breathing, and i felt your heart beating with such a beautiful rhythm. you slept soundly all night, as if we had always known eachother. the next morning, i woke up to you looking at me, waiting. you refused to leave my bed until i left it.

you have been my most loyal, true companion in this incredible life we lead. we're happy together. just like we both knew we would be, and should be.

my sweet gracie mae. i love you in ways that i don't have words for. i try to let you know every day how much i care and how much i appreciate all that you are and all that you do for me.

i pray for you more than i pray for myself.

i enjoy you, i relish you, and i love you.

you are my heart and you are my soul. i am so intensely blessed and proud to be your mother, your companion, your anything............. because you are my everything.