"...We all know that too many times adoption is NOT the result of genuine abandonment, but of coercion and abuse of pregnant women and natural mothers (SNIP) Does it still feel like abandonment to you?"
first things first....my
anyway, i can't answer for ALL adoptees, but many have had similar situations, and still have similar feelings. but i can tell you how *I* feel.
yes. abandonment is a lifelong issue. i believe it's a lot of why i've never been married, have no kids and have never lived with anyone before in a relationship.
the fear of being left is so overpowering, that no one and nothing can make it go away. "leave before you get left....by anyone else." that's my lifelong motto. i fuck up every relationship i've ever been in, so i can be SURE to break it off before anything too deep happens.
again, this is another thing that my parents couldn't have had any power over. they did nothing to make me this way. my brothers did nothing, nor did any single person...........EXCEPT HER.
my first mother. she fucked me up for good. permanently. forever. not fixable. nor repairable. not gonna change. won't change.
when i say, "leave before you get left" i mean that i feel like i MUST leave in order to keep myself safe. i don not believe i can survive being left by someone THAT significant again. i don't want to try. what she did scarred me for the rest of my existence.
i once questioned my facebook adoptee friends: "would you rather have been aborted, or lived this life as an adoptee?" 90% of the people who responded were absolutely certain they would rather have been aborted to live this pain of being an adoptee.
so in answer to the original question, and more......yes. i will always feel abandoned until the day i die. no matter who likes me, loves me, or just happens to give a small shit about me.
i will NEVER recover from being abandoned. never.