i went in to get my nail fixed today.
"wha happen you tum?"
"my thumb- oh. the dog bit me."
"oh no. dog bite it??"
"what wrong with dat dog??"
"oh, idk. he's just jacked up. he's old, and he's adopted and it's just a hot mess. he has a complex. he snores and has a funny face and he's cranky a lot when my dog is near him. he's jealous, i think. he doesn't like people getting close to his owner and stuff. he's not a bad dog, just sort of a whack job. i kinda feel sorry for him. he's lonely maybe. he's jealous. he needs understanding....."
"no. dat dog need you to fuck him up. give xanax. TWICE."