Friday, July 29, 2011

the nail lady: living conditions

j:  hey tracy- long time no see.  how in the world are you?

t: oh, fye fye fye.  what new fah you?

j: hmm.  went on vacation, still job hunting and do you watch the tv show "hoarders"?

t: no tye fah tv.  no tye, no tye.

j: well, it's about people who can't stop buying shit.  they buy some stuff that's the same as they already own and they buy more stuff, whether they can afford it or not.  then they have all this stuff in their house and can hardly move from room to room.

t: who lib lye dat?

j: people who hoard.  some people even hoard animals and they'll have like, 50 cats or 25 dogs or a room full of lizards or whatnot.

t: but why?  why dey lib lye dat?

j: i don't know man.  all i can tell you is that i can not tolerate shit like that.  i can't even go to bed with a dirty fork in the sink.  the drawers have to be closed perfectly, the towels have to be even, the laundry done, the floors clean, the bathroom spotless, the dog and cat toys are put away, their beds straightened, and when i'm in bed, the sheets have to be even, the pillows perfect.....the tv at a particular angle, the magazines put away in my night stand.....good Lord,  HOW do people LIVE with HOARDERS!?

t: how the FUCK does faith live with YOU?


  1. If you're paying her only $25/hour, you're stealing therapy from her.


  2. OMG! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!