so painful. so triggering.
tonight, i went to a volunteer dinner for hope house. it was at a church and we were in the auditorium type room.
it was all long tables and i turned around to glance at a table near us and this lady was looking at me.
a few minutes later, the speaker was doing her thing, so i turned around again to look and the same lady was looking at me.
people started getting in line for the buffet and i turned to see who was next and the lady was looking at me again.,
omg, you know what i went to each time in my head?
that same fucking thing from when i was a kid. trying to look pretty enough, good enough, confident enough, strong enough, perfect posture enough, good smile enough, well liked enough...,,
............because she MIGHT be my mother, looking for me.