was i worth it? and other thoughts...

i was driving down the road today, wondering if my parents felt like they got their money's worth when they got me.

i think yes.

haven't always felt that way, but for the most part i do.  i mean, it's such a gamble when buying a kid.  it's a crap shoot.  they won't be anything like you, and you can't change that.  so be prepared.  you never know where your new little critter came from.

yesterday i saw a documentary with dr. wayne dyer.  he repeatedly talked about how important it is to know where you come from.  it's a natural need. 

if you don't find where you came from, you become obsessed with figuring it out at the expense of moving forward and living your life.  that's how i lived until i met my witch mother.  i daydreamed of her constantly.  it really held me back emotionally and otherwise.

so to make it simple, if you're an AP, try your best to keep an open adoption.  if it wasn't open, never stifle your child's dreams of finding her mother. 

you won't win.